The Curious Case of Carol M.

I was born, I was a child, and then I became a teenager

Description of me as a teenager –
Had wild mood swings
Was Overly Emotional
Broke out in tears at any given moment
Was quick to blow up at people
Questioned everyone and everything
Had a desire to run away and just have fun
Was self centered
Was concerned about how my body looked
Was obsessed with ____ (this is a family blog)
Stayed up late
Tried to figure out who I wanted to be and what I believed.

Finally I became a responsible adult, parent, worker.
I raised my own teenagers. I survived! (Mostly)
They become responsible adults (I think)
Life is good! I can travel, enjoy Hubby, and be content!

Bam – Menopause hits!

Description of me as a Menopausal Women –
Have wild mood swings
Am overly emotional
Break out in tears at any given moment
Am quick to blow up at people
Question everyone and everything
Have a desire to run away and just have fun
Am self centered
Am concerned about how my body looks
Have an obsession with ____ (just about everything)
Stay up late (cause I can't sleep)
Trying to figure out who I am and what I believe

Uh mm...

sounds...

familiar...

Hey... I think life is just one big cycle!

Wait a minute. What do I have to look forward to if life is a cycle?

I quit now!

(Go see the movie "A Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons", this post will make more sense!)

Just Sharing

Grandson: "Grandma if you don't want your orange roll I will eat it for you!"

Grandpa: "Let Grandma eat, you already had an orange roll."

Grandson: "I am just being nice!"

Grandma: "You are huh! How's that?"

Grandson: "I've learned my lesson."

Grandma: "What lesson is that?"

Grandson: "To share - I was just sharing! That's nice right?"

Makes sense to me!

Physical Appearance

Physical Appearance shouldn't matter. After all it's whats inside us that counts. But the reality is our appearance does matter to us.

Over the years, I have become self conscience of my teeth. They are too crowded for the size of my mouth and protrude outward like "horse teeth". Going to the dentist always frustrates me because no matter how hard I work at taking care of my teeth, I always have tarter build up. So now that my kids are pretty much on their own, at the age of 50, I decided to get my teeth fixed with braces. (Yes, I am crazy!) I had to have 3 teeth pulled first and that turned out to be the easy part!

I am miserable. Did I mention that I AM MISERABLE! Eating is no fun! The time it takes to clean my teeth after eating makes me think twice about eating at all. Consequently I have lost some weight (of course in the wrong places!) The braces constantly irritate the inside of my cheeks, and I feel like I have a mouth full of gunk at all times. (which I do)

If I knew what this experience was going to be like, there is no way I would have even considered it. My hubby says "It will be OK, just wait until you are done and you will be happy you did it". I keep telling myself this will be worth it in the end but at the moment 2 years of braces seems like an eternity. I feel more like throwing myself a pity party and then having the braces removed immediately. In case you haven't figured it out - I am not enjoying this experience!!!

It occurred to me the other night that most of our trials in life are like my braces experience. Typically in order to become a better person, we have to go through things that make us miserable. At the time we just want to give up and quit. We would never agree to go through the trial if we knew in advance what the experience was going to be like. We are often told by others that we will be "OK, and everything will be worth it in the end". We don't believe them. We seldom , if ever, enjoy the journey!!

But in the end usually our trials refine us and we do become better people.

Hope it works with the braces cause this is not FUN!

Who am I?

Who I am at any given moment is definitely influenced by my experiences, my moods, those I associate with, and the roles I play.

Who am I? Some say I am -
A woman
A girl
A wife
A sister
A parent
A child
An In law
An outlaw
A grandmother
An enforcer
A friend
A stranger
An Introvert
An Extrovert
A peace maker
A trouble maker
A follower
A leader
An observer
A participator
An agitator
A comforter
A pessimist
An optimist
A Mormon
A sinner

So who am I? At different times all of the above!
Who do I want to be? Just me!
I'll let you know who that is when I figure it out!

Grains of Sand

I may be one small grain of sand on a beautiful wide beach, but dang it, I want someone to know I am there on that beach before I am washed away!